They Made Tom Watch... 2

My younger brother Tom is a projectionist at a multiplex, and part of his job is to screen new films before release, to check the prints. He also has to write a report on each film for the staff. So, each Tuesday, we're going to share with you his thoughts on what

They Made Tom Watch
This week...



Genre: British Gangster

What’s it about?
Given that I only really understood about 10% of the dialogue, I’m not entirely sure. I think someone owed someone else some money, and for some reason, was not allowed a reasonable payment plan, nor ever offered any interest rate. So he has to get it. Oh, and some other people don’t like him. I think. Or they liked him a lot, and had a funny way of showing it.

What did I think of it?
Yo yo… I’ll make this review into a dope rap hit,
What do I have to say about this movie? It was shit.
I can’t understand any of the dialogue,
Most of the acting is wooden as a log,
Of all the things wrong with this there is a catalogue,
I’d rather sit for 2 hours on the bog.
So, to wrap it up in a nutshell,
Sitting through this film was utter hell.

I just don’t get it! I don’t understand what there is to like about this film. Our ‘hero’ is a complete twat, utterly unsympathetic, and what he does is annoying, illegal and reprehensible! For me, this isn’t the makings of a gripping or fun time. But maybe I’m just getting old.

Who is it for?
Chavs, wannabe gangsters, scary drug-dealing types.

What is it like?
The criminal side of The Wire, but devoid of any talent in any facet of it.

Good Stuff: My review. Yo.

Bad Stuff: Once again, all of it. Why are there so many bad films? Who lets people make them? Who goes to see them? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!