THE BLOB (1958)

Nobody ever said my quest to review every Criterion release was going to be fun, if they did then they're a smelly doodypants liar! I fully expected to be bored by some of the more pretentious arthouse films that are too advanced for my little brain, what I didn't expect though was how boring the original version of THE BLOB was! I love old 50's/60's creature features, but other than a great story idea there's nothing going on here.

We all know the story of The Blob: some 30-year-old teenagers in a small town see an meteor falling nearby, so they go to investigate.  Once there, they find an old dude with some shit on his hand. They take him to the local doctor where the goop on his hand grows and starts consuming everything. It grows and grows until it's threatening the entire town.

Growing up, I'd seen the awesome 1988 remake dozens times and was very interested to see what the original was like.  Unfortunately, there are a number of long stretches with nothing more than the teenagers arguing with their parents and the cops. Yawn! Then when the action finally shows up at the very end it's laughable.  You can even see fingerprints on the blob.  There are a few exciting moments, but for the most part there's very little going on in this film.

I love the idea of The Blob as a monster and would love to see hundreds of sequels and reboots.  You could have The Blob showing up in all kinds of places and time periods.  The Blob in ancient Rome would be cool.  The Blob on the Titanic would be neat.  The Blob vs. The Thing!  The Blob vs. Predator?!  The Blob on the Planet of the Human Centipedes!  The ideas are endless.

Part 2 - Beware! The Blob (1972)

Remake - The Blob (1988)